Akatsuki vacation
by darkkisame
Summary: See what the akatsuki do when thay vacation around the world


Dark Kisame here, I found out that I can upload stories from my USB drive so this will be fun, Mwahahaha, *ahem* I'm sorry where were we? . . . Ah yes let's go on with the episode. ; 3

_Written by:_

_Dark Kisame_

_Theme by:_

_**Naruto fan writer**_

**AKATSUKI ON VACATION**

**TO Hawaii **

"Get the heck out of the bathroom Hidan!" Kakuzu said banging on the door to the only bathroom in the entire 3 story Akatsuki base, HQ, home… old peanut factory, you know. "_*yawn*_ what the heck's going on? It's 4 in the morning." Konan said sleepily in her origami print pajamas. "I need to get ready and Hidan wont get out of the freak'n bathroom." "At 4 in the morning?" "Well you see, not all of us sleep the entire night. I try to find some bounty missions, Kisame plays with his fish, and also by this time Sasori is fed up with Deidara's snoring and sleeps on the couch, and I got no clue what the crap Hidan does." Kakuzu said banging on the door a few more times. ". . . just keep it down." Konan said walking back to her room that she shared with Pain.

A few minutes later Hidan walked out of the bathroom. "What the hell took you so long?" Kakuzu demanded. "I was on the crapper." Hidan said. "For 2 hours?" "Well I crapped then did some prayers." "Just get the heck outta my way." Kakuzu yelled. He walked in the bathroom and locked the door. "What the-? ARGH! GOD DAMNIT HIDAN FLUSH THE TOILET NEXT TIME, IT SMELLS LIKE A FREAK'N COW DIED IN HERE!" Kakuzu yelled. Hidan walked back to his room laughing hysterically.

_**7**__** O'clock that morning…**_

Everyone gathered around the table still in their pajamas. Konan and Sasori looked miserable and sleep deprived, Itachi looked as if he slept on a rock. Kisame was asleep with his head in a bowl of Coco Puffs; Pain was looking in the refrigerator for something he didn't even know what was. But Deidara seemed awake and good though.

Kakuzu walked into the dinning room looking quite pissed (as usual). Hidan was behind him with a devious look on his face. Out of no where Zutsu came in to kitchen for some water. Kakuzu shoved past him. "What's your damage?" Dark Zutsu said. "This fool over here cost me 70-K," Kakuzu said angrily. Everyone turned to Hidan. "He decided to tag along and licked the guys frig'n wound to 'help' me and cut off his own arm, make'n the guys arm fell off and he bled to death." "Well, it wasn't a total waste." Hidan said. "What are you blabbing bout?" "I gots dis. . ." Hidan said holding up a strip of paper. Konan scrambled around to make sure she was all there. There was a brief silence. Kisame started to snore in his cereal. Itachi grabbed his stick and whacked Kisame on the head. Kisame jerked up. "What was that for?" Kisame asked blowing a Coco Puff out of his nose. "Shush." Itachi said.

"Just tell us what the heck it is before Kisame falls asleep in his food again and Konan has a heart attack." Pain said. Konan stuck out her tongue. "It's a ticket to Hawaii along with 9 friends." Everyone's eye grew wide. "YAY TOBI GITS TO DO THE HULA." Tobi said. "Yippee a break from this old peanut factory! Err... um… I mean base." Konan said flailing her arms. "Beats sit'n here." Pain said suddenly in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, sunglasses, ect.

"Wait a second! Hidan what kind of ticket is that?" Kakuzu interrupted. "Err… uh… ah-ha! A one way ticket." Hidan said. "Forget it," "WHAAAAAT!" everyone said looking at Kakuzu. "It's too expensive for a trip back and is sure as hell too expensive to stay there." Kisame sank his head in his bowl of cereal. "Now look what you've done, you made Kisame really up set." Itachi said patting Kisame on the back. Kisame jolted up. "Hmm-wha- what happened I dozed off a bit." Kisame said. _(Silence)_

"What you mean we just sit here and let these tickets go to waste?" Konan yelled. "Do you have a better idea?" Kakuzu said. "Let's use it." "No!" "Why not?" "I told you it's too much money." Konan got face-to-face with Kakuzu. "We're gunnu go weather you like it or not. And if you so much as try to stop us, I'll give you such a paper cut you'll still feel the sting 20 years from now." "_*Gulp*_ Err… whatever." – Every one cheered

_**Later t**__**hat afternoon…**_

"Okay everybody let's move." Konan said by the door in a baggy shirt and short shorts. One-by-one every walked in to the _"living room". _Pain was in the same thing he had on earlier; Hidan, had just shorts and sandals on: Kakuzu, just took of his cloak; Tobi was in his trunks and a bright orange inner tube: Itachi and Deidara, had a white T-shirt and trunks on: Kisame had his Jaws swim trunks and a white T-shirt.

"Everyone to the air port!" Pain said heading off. They all rushed out the door almost flattening Pain. "Oh wait, Zutsu!" Konan said rushing back inside. "Zutsu, Zutsu! Where is that plant thing?" she said looking around. "Thing? If you weren't Pain's squeeze I'd eat you for that." Zutsu said walking down the stairs. "Ah there you are. Why aren't you ready?" "Easy, I'm not going." "What? Why not?" "Eh I just don't wanna. Gotto hold down the peanut factory err I mean base." (you see Pain always gets pissed if someone calls it a peanut factory instead of a base) "Well okay then." Konan said as she walked out the door.

"Well?" Pain asked. "He ain't going." Konan replied. "Lemmie guess, salt water bad for the roots'? Bahahahaha!" Hidan said laughing. "That joke was worse than the time Kisame got covered in sewage." Kakuzu said. "And nothin' has tasted right sense." Deidara said shivering. Sasori started to laugh. Pein shook his head "Hence the reason we moved…" "Cuz it smelt like shit" Hidan broke in. Kisame shivered remembering the disgusting swim through the sewer, and also having to run from that alligator. "Let get going." Pain said. The air port was at least 2 days away and they have a lot of walking

"AAGHH! My feet hurt. Can some one tell me why the hell we have airplanes but not cars?" Hidan yelled. "Just shut up Hidan." Kakuzu said irritated. "But they huuurrtt." He wined. "Shut up just look at Kisame. He's holding Itachi you don't hear him wining." Pain said. "Why isn't Itachi walking!" Hidan yelled. "He ran into a tree and knocked himself out" Konan said. A slight grin went across Itachi's face. "YOU M-F'ER YOU'RE NOT KNOCKED OUT YOU'RE A GODDAMN FAKER!" Hidan yelled.

Kisame freaked and dropped Itachi. Itachi stood up and dusted him self off.

Everyone stared at Itachi. "What?" Itachi said innocently. "YOU LAZY BASTARD" Hidan yelled. "I swear Hidan, if you don't shut up I'll chop you into little pieces and feed you to Kisame." Kakuzu said getting pissed off. "What?" Kisame said. "You heard me fish boy!" Kakuzu said pointing at Kisame. "Why I outta…" Hidan said raising a fist to Itachi. Itachi pulled out his glasses and put them on "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you?" "Like hell I would!" Hidan yelled running toward Itachi. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan, who was swearing up a storm, and dragged him further ahead.

_**The next**__** afternoon…**_

As soon as they got to the airport and sat down in the waiting area, Hidan started pissin'-and-moanin' about how tired and hungry he was and how they had to wait another day before the plane arrives. "If you're so damn tired then shut the hell up!" Kakuzu yelled. _(Silence) _"Well… I'm not THAT tired." Hidan said grinning. Kakuzu punched him in the face and Hidan flew face first into a wall. "What de hell was dat for!" Hidan said holding his nose. "For being a DUMBASS!" Kakuzu yelled. The people around them started to mummer to each other "Well!... What de hell you starin' at you buther F***er's?" Hidan yelled. Everyone turned away. "Get the hell over here before I kick you ass." Kakuzu said.

_**At the peanut faa- I mean base…**_

_(Music at full volume and strobe lights shine through windows) _Inside potted plants were scattered every where. "Ahem," Zutsu said over the mic. "I just wanted to say thank you all for coming and uh… enjoy the punch and sake. It's very special, after all I did get it outta Kisame's special sake crate." He said leaving the small stage. Zutsu walked over to the punch table and saw a tall plant wilted and draped over the table. "What the..?" Zutsu said looking at dead plant. An empty sake bottle rolled off the table. "Ah I see, had a little much did we?" Zutsu said taking the plant to the couch.

_**The next day…**_

It felt like forever but they finally got on the plane and lifted off. The Akatsuki managed to sit in the same row some how. "Bwahaha!" Kisame laughed aloud. "What?" Itachi said holding his ear that his partner just yelled in. "Today I am officially a flying fish." He said. Every one rolled their eyes. "Attention passengers," The pilot said over the intercom. "It's a clear sunny day perfect for flying. So sit back, relax, and get to know your neighbor because it'll be about two days till we get there." ""What the hell? More waiting?" Hidan yelled making every turn and stare. "Yes, more waiting." The pilot said over the intercom. "Oh shut up." Hidan yelled.

Hours later and everyone was getting restless. Kisame was making mini water sharks jump in-and-out of his glass of water. Kakuzu was asleep. Pain and Konan went up to the privet 1st class rooms by bribing the air attendant with 1000 Ryo, without Kakuzu's knowledge of course. "Tobi board." Tobi said again for the hundredth time. Deidara shoved a pair of head phones to Tobi and rolled down the TV on the chair and turned it on. "Ooh TV!" Tobi said. One of the passengers walked past Kakuzu to go to the restroom and a penny fell out of his pocket and hit the floor. Instantly Kakuzu woke up. "I hear the clang of money." He said. "What?" Hidan said. "Money!" Kakuzu said. "It's my lucky day." The man in the other isle said reaching for the coin. In a split second Kakuzu lashed out and grabbed his arm. "Hay man you're breaking my arm." "Unhand that penny or the hand comes off!" the man let go of the penny and grabbed his hand. Kakuzu to the penny and stuffed it in his pocket. "You're just greedy." Hidan said. "Maybe now you can afford some plastic surgery for all them stitches." The man said. Kakuzu turned to the man with an evil glare. "Eeeepp!"

_1 hour later…_

Deidara looked over at the TV Tobi was watching. "OMG TOBI DON'T WATCH THAT!" Deidara said. "Why not sempi it's fuuuuunnnyy" "I don't care it's not right to watch air planes crashes ON an air plane!" Deidara said about to turn it off. Tobi grabbed Deidara's arm and in a serious voice said, "Don't even think about it… Deidara!," Deidara yanked his arm back. "OMFG Tobi's lost it!" Deidara said.

Itachi seemed quite absorbed in a book he was reading when a miniature water shark flew past his head. "Holy crap!," Itachi yelled. "What in the name of god are you doing Kisame?" "Nothing," Kisame answered. "What was that for?" "What was what for?" "The water shark." "Oh that I had nothing else to do so I just made it fly." "Why didn't you just drink it?" "… I guess that never crossed my mind. So what you readin' anyhow?" "A very interesting book." Kisame looked at the cover. "You swiped that from Kakashi didn't you" (in the leaf village) "NOOOOOOO WHERE'S MY BOOK I CAN'T FIND IT ANY WERE AAAAGHHHH!" (back at the plane) "Nope." Itachi said.

"I wonder how Zutsu's doing?" . . .

Well that's what I got so far. I can't believe I worked on it all summer and still did not get done it really pisses me off. I apologize to Narutofanwriter for not getting it done so I'll get it in when my brain starts to process the next set, and the question is – What is **Bye-me** off of? – See ya next time BYE-ME!


End file.
